No, really, I AM Batman.

Well, I've been MIA and have no excuse for it. Schools back up and running full force but it's been enjoyable for the most part (except for ART- I like to draw as much as the next person, but who says, "I want you to capture the emotion of your model" in reference to a messenger bag?). My English Novel class is so good I actually look forward to it... which might be slightly twisted, but that's a-o-k with me. For one of my classes I get to just sit and write. Yeah, I said it. It's the best class ever invented. EVER.

I got engaged at the end of the summer and have been planning a wedding (245 days to go) and yes, Daniel's story has been progressing. I'm around 225 and have enough material and thoughts to hopefully get me another hundred pages. Afterward, it's copy editing time! I have more news about Dan, but breakfast and class calls my name. I'll have to get back to you on that.

Take a Bite Out of Crime

Yesterday was the most productive day I've had in a month. It's those days that make choosing writing as a career seem like an okay idea. I think I've identified my problem. Being motivationless is not a good life choice for someone who wants to write a novel. So far, I've stuck with the 5-10 page a day quota, and I'm going to do my best to keep it up. I hit the 154 page mark last night and did some thinking. I'm just about half way done telling the story. Daniel has so much to say!

I found this picture of McGruff the Crime Dog and thought it was a real blast from the 90s. He was THE crime deterrent for young children, and I remember him fondly. I thought he needed to make an appearance on Dan's blog. Weirdly fitting. Dan in canine form.

An Inadequacy Shared by Neurosurgeons

It's difficult to keep things straight. Despite a binder overflowing with details, facts and figures, important information is still lost in translation (or transcription). When I read the interviews of some of my favorite writers (Writer's Digest Magazine), it sometimes seems like things come easy to them-- that they have something I don't have.

For whatever reason, inadequacy is something all writers feel at one point or another. This might seem like an inappropriate blanket statement, too much of a generalization. Well, sorry to say, it's true. It's not only writers. I'm sure neurosurgeons feel it, too. Am I doing the right thing? Is this what I'm supposed to be doing? Will I ever succeed? And... what happens if I don't?" For people who have other careers and write on the side, there is some underlying hope... a plan B if the writing doesn't work out. For Creative Writing Majors (who have no interest in journalism or teaching in any capacity) there is no plan B. You either make it, or you don't. Either tuition money was well spent, or it was horribly wasted.

When I sit down at my computer, thoughts circle in my head. Who would read this? This is horrible. I can't write. And who knows? Maybe these thoughts are the truth. But in the unlikely event that they are completely false, I'm going to be there to scream "BOOYAH" at the top of my lungs from the nearest rooftop.

Update: Bloody Hands

Murder isn't something people think too much about as a general rule. It represents something too frightening and familiar for most of us to bear-- namely, the potential for violence that all human beings have. What most people avoid I spend days thinking about, trying to piece together a story that reaches back sixty years, full to the brim with homicide and good intentions.
Daniel Bellamy thinks along the same lines I do, we're one person after all, breathing the same air and existing on plains separated by a paper thin barrier. Getting into his head is like opening a door in mine. He's a good man and a good cop, but with enough baggage to sink the Titanic. Sometimes just thinking about sitting down at the computer is too overwhelming. Motivation eludes me and I'm desperate for inspiration. The trouble isn't with connecting to Dan, it's connecting all of the dots of the story.

Exhausted, Daniel placed his gun and holster on the kitchen table and made for the sink. He needed to wash it all from his hands, the blood, the weight of failure. His sister was dead and the killer was out there, always three steps ahead. = Kate

Update

It's been hard to be in Daniel's shoes this week. When I write, I like to make it personal- mixing in parts of your life, things you've experienced, makes the words more real. This week, April Break, I've been writing about Dan's sixteen-year-old daughter, who has anorexia. On the brink of death, her pain calls Daniel back into the role of father that he had foolishly and selfishly left.

Anorexia is something I've struggled with since I was fifteen. At my lowest weight, my hair fell out, my nails broke, I was always cold, and would often black out from malnourishment. To save energy, my body went on autopilot. I couldnt enjoy my life, my family, my friends. I was dead. Now, things are better, but I'm still haunted by the allure of anorexia, which you have to deal with to understand. I think writing about Gemma's intense struggle for life will be therapuetic
and inspiring. My goal for my writing is to help people, and if just one person can read my manuscript and think, wow, this is something, then I'll be satisfied.

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. I'll try to do better, Kelsey!

A Road Map in my Mind

With two tests down and only one follower (thanks mom!) I find myself so exhausted that a sense of overwhelming (and probably unhealthy) peace has taken the place of anxiety. The problem with this new development becomes- the semester isn't over yet, and things are only going to get harder from here. I'm ready to sleep, to not feel nauseous all the time, for this headache to finally go away- to be able to write. On a lighter note, I had a great, encouraging meeting with my professor today and she was very helpful in helping me plan out the next step in Bellamy's long journey to the truth. I missed my deadline, but I did enough research so that she understood I was doing the work- just not in a form that I could pass in. There's a road map in my mind and it's leading me deep into the abyss of Daniel's life- but I can't go there yet. As soon as I do, all of my other priorities (classes) will go straight to the back burner. I can't afford to do that just yet.

An Introduction of Sorts

A lot of the time, I don't know whether I'm coming or going. With my head either in homework or in the sky, it's become hard to find a storyline and nail it down, make it concrete, keep it in my head. For a about six months after I finished the very rough draft of my fourth manuscript never to be published, it seemed very plausible to be that I would never overcome my writer's block. It seemed as deep and real as an ocean, which is why I chose to name this blog "Abyssopelagic". My phobias are encompassed in the ocean and the endlessness it represents. I wont even touch it without someone beside me to make sure I dont fall in. That's how I felt about the barricade in my mind. I just couldn't go it alone. Thanks to a persistent professor and a lot of dedicated peer reviewers, I managed to find Daniel Bellamy, a character who has become more real to me than touch or smell or taste. I think it's only fair to myself, Daniel, and the people who have encouraged us both into being, that there be some sort of link, a documentation to keep everyone as interested in Dan as I am. Please read this, and embark on this fantastically wild journey with me to the depths of the ocean. I can't go it alone.