Often times we wake up in the morning feeling like this poor fellow to the right, Edvard Munch's "Scream". This painting is infinitely famous despite how creepy the main attraction to the canvas is. Perhaps that's because we identify with the horribly grotesque centerpiece? The way he clasps his head, opens his mouth in the silent cry of monotony and purposelessness, how his eyes bug wide from fear that maybe, somehow, this really is all there is.
Well, thank goodness I don't believe that this is all there is to the world and my purpose in it. How hopeless I would be without my faith in Christ! Depression often leaves me exhausted and without motivation. Utter, irrational and causeless despair sometimes makes sleep seem better than living. Through much trial and error I've seen the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.
Though I grew up with Christianity, I never truly had a peaceful and full relationship with my Creator until the world I had built for myself came crashing down around me and I looked an awful lot like Munch's painting. I was stabbed in the back, the blade was twisted around an around, and I thought "This pain isn't worth living for". Through the help of the Bible, supportive friends and The Purpose Driven Life, my journey ended much happier than it began but it was a close one, and I'll never forget that.
We come through these things with a scream on our lips and horror in our eyes in order to better understand our fellow man, and to reach them with our stories of triumph. Even through moments of despair we can be comforted in knowing that pain brings about infinite possibilities of purpose and meaning. Through my struggles with chronic depression, I've become interested in mental illness and plan on writing my next project on a character who has one. Through the "explosion" of my fake little world, I can better help my friends through similar situations. Through my experience with anorexia I can look at my friend and say, "No, seriously, you need to eat".
Though these experiences were, an are, painful, they still allow me to feel as if I'm here for a reason, and I personally think it was worth it.
So many people are glad you are here because you have changed their lives. More than once your ability to survive has reminded me why and how I need to do the same. <3
ReplyDeleteHi there!
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